THE HOLIDAYS FOR ME ARE!
BRIGHT LIGHTS! LOUD SOUNDS! GOOD SMELLS! FOOOOOOOD!
What’s that!? So much blinking! Is that tiny, red and white human trying to challenge me!? I will get him, no one dares challenge the great Viktor without retribution! A solid roughhousing should do the trick!
OH MY GOD, THE TINY, RED AND WHITE HUMAN EXPLODED INTO A BILLION WHITE, SOFT BALLS!? I DIDN’T KNOW THEY COULD DO THAT!?
But I won! And that’s all that matters! I shall henceforth be known as Viktor, the Conqueror of tiny red and white humans! Oh, but here comes my mortal enemy (friend), Miss Claws! And what an absolutely horrendous sweater she’s wearing! To think my enemy is stuck in that monstrosity, our master must truly have the power of gods!
OH MY GOD, MISS CLAWS! WE’RE UNDER ATTACK, WE’RE UNDER ATTACK! IT’S LIKE LAST YEAR’S BANQUET ALL OVER AGAIN! I DIDN’T THINK IT WOULD START SO SOON THOUGH! QUICKLY, TO THE BUNKERS!
Both me and Miss Claws know the drill and retreat underneath the bunker! Here, we shall withstand the enemy attack!
Hmm, it appears the enemy has seized fire! But what is that!? Ah, but it’s the smell of a victory feast! C’mon Miss Claws, we shall celebrate like the victorious and courageous heroes we are!
OH MY GOD, IS THAT A PIG’S EAR!? MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE!? HOW DO THEY AQUIRE THE FOOD OF GODS!?
Call me a king, for I shalt feast like one! Even Miss Claws has gotten some delicious mush, perchance I might have a tast- OW! Alright then, be like that, wench! I love when this happen! Why doesn’t it happen more often!? It’s such a wonderful time!
“Mom, have you seen Victor anywhere?”
“Not since the kids went nuts with the party poppers, no. And with what he did to my Santa doll, he better be hiding!”
“Mom, c’mon, you know Victor’s not smart enough to understand that it’s a puppet, not an adversary. I brought some goodies for him; he’ll be sweet as a lamb for the rest of the evening.”
“He better be! If I find that dog gnawing on another of my figurines, I’ll skin him!”
“And Christmas wouldn’t be the same ever again! It isn’t Christmas unless Victor makes a ruckus.”